My Grand Opus

Hey, what's up?

I hope all is well with you.

When I was a kid, I always dreamed of doing something great in the world. I’m very sure I’m not the only kid that will ever have this dream. However, this dream has never left me; like a twin, it's grown as I've grown. Now well into adulthood it still wakes me up every morning. 

My ex-girlfriend used to ask me “Why do you always compare yourself to great people in history?”. My response “Why not?”; I thought everybody did that. The realization that my grandiose dreams weren't normal was chilling. I remember thinking to myself "I am in this pursuit of mine by myself". I'd never felt so alone before this sudden realization. Friends thought me crazy, rational teenagers don’t abandon everything to pursue a “calling”. Then again rational isn't a word that applies to teenagers, so I was all in.

This pursuit has been a lonely one. Sometimes I wonder about its worthiness. It’s required me to sacrifice a lot. The pre-dreamer version of myself would have thought it insane and inane. He would’ve never entertained the thought for a fraction of a millisecond. Hence, a conflict ensued.

Logic and emotion at odds created a rift within me. It began an internal civil war that lasted years. I’ve lost a lot but I’ve gained a lot as well. In the process of navigating this identity crisis, I’ve been able to reconcile these opposing forces, the dreamer and the pragmatist. Carefully curating my internal dialogue has been a huge part of this reconciliation process.  

My song "My Grand Opus" is a celebratory ode to this hard-won reconciliation. Getting my ego to trust the process has had a profound impact on my vision of self. This song is indicative of the affirmative self-talk that has fostered a healthier relationship between Me, my mind, my heart and my dreams.

Enjoy!

Logan.